TV-Sitter

WARNING: IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE IN NATURE, DO NOT READ!

IF YOU ARE A PARENT AND A FRIEND OF MINE, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, UNLESS OTHERWISE SPECIFIED BY THE WORDS..."A friend of mine did," or "One time, one of my friends.."

THIS IS A SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON CHILD-REARING IN AMERICA.

In response to: Baby Einsteins: Not So Smart After All

Dear Disney Parent,

I'm sorry I contributed to the retardification of your child and the dumbing down of America, but, what do you expect? I'm a multi-national corporation out to make a buck, YOUR buck, in fact. So, yes, it's my fault for making these videos and selling them under the guise of education, but it's your fault if you abuse and misuse these tools by making them your de facto babysitter.

DON'T FORGET TO PICK UP Baby Einstein Shapes & Sounds!

Available on Disney DVD RIGHT NOW!

And coming on August 21^st!

Disney's Little Einsteins: Rocket's Firebird Rescue and Handy Manny: Tooling Around.

Pre-order your Disney DVD with FastPlay* right now!

Love,

Mickey Mouse

* What is Disney's FastPlay?

Disney's FastPlay is a new technology that puts you in control of your viewing preferences.

You can choose to use your remote and navigate through our user-friendly EasyFind menus, or you can simply put in the disk and go sit down and relax and the DVD automatically begins. You don't have to push a button!**

You can watch the feature presentation just like you would in theaters. After the trailers and feature, stay tuned for an exciting selection of Bonus Features.

(From http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/fastplay/faq.html)

**In other words, all your child has to do is find the DVD they want and serve themself up a heaping spoonful of 2-hour babysitter without interrupting you while you peruse Perezhilton.com.

Dear friends of mine who I gave the Einstein DVDs to while I was working at Disney. I'm sorry. Please feel free to give me back the DVD and I'll get you a proper gift.

Dear people who have mentally impaired children and are offended by my use of the word "retardification." I'm sorry to offend, I think all children are beautiful and wonderful and I'm making no judgment on you or your child. And unless I actually gave you an Einsteins DVD, I'm pretty sure that if your child has any mental handicaps, it's not any fault of mine, but I'm sorry anyway, cos I guess that's what I'm supposed to say.

Dear people who peruse Perezhilton.com while your child watches DVDs unsupervised. Any likeness to your reailty is purely coincidental.

Love,

Gen