I’m in love with a Crackhead and he only calls me when he wants to fuck, but he’s SOOOO HOT!

Imagine I’ve just revealed this news to you. What would you say?

I’m surrounded by beautiful women, with decent jobs, decent means and a decent standard of living. We happen to spend a considerable amount of time running in a scene where most people are semi-to-unemployed, drug-using, lost souls with little direction and even less money. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone, but truth is truth. How is it that the women that I hang with waste their time and energy and consequently MY PRECIOUS TIME AND ENERGY pining over men with zero duckets and oscillating interest?

I’m reading this really horrible book right now that my boss gave me. It’s called “He’s Just Not That Into You.” And even though I’m completely humiliated that I admit reading such a trendy book in an open forum, this book, if read by all woman, would cause an emotional revolution. You know, I don’t even want ALL women to read it. I just want all my female friends to read it. It would save all involved parties a lot of time.

I’ve always been a huge proponent of not playing games. Because once you play games you subscribe to the notion that game-playing is acceptable and for all intents and purposes you may as well say “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!” I’ve always lived by the “If you want to call him, call him” rule. This applies to people that are dating. Not people who have broken up with their retarted boyfriends or girlfriends and are still trapped in the revolving door of codependency. To those people I say, DEFINTIELY DO NOT CALL HIM/HER. But if you’re dating someone and you had a good time the night before and you want to call him and say I had a good time, but instead you call me and we spend the evening dissecting all the subtle nuances of his body language and analyzing all possible repercussions of calling him before he calls you, I’m STILL gonna end it with, “Call him if you want to call him. SHEESH.” This isn’t the presidential election. We don’t need to have a debate about the pros and cons. If a man gets scared away because you called him first, guess what? He’s Just Not That Into You.

It’s a very liberating, empowering thing to grasp. A man that likes you isn’t going to shy away because you called him first or left him a comment on his myspace profile. So you don’t need to call in forensics to comb over the evidence and give their opinion.

Point number two, and this is two-fold point. As I have mentioned before, I have beautiful, upstanding female friends that I surround myself with. Why do they and women like them waste time with LOSERS? And, as if wasting your time with losers just to fuck them isn’t bad enough, why do they waste time with LOSERS who don’t even have the decency to grab onto said amazing woman, hold her tight and say “HOW GOD? HOW DID I EVER DESERVE SUCH A MARVELOUS CREATURE?” No, they waste time with losers who don’t call when they say they will, or only call after 11pm, or try to fuck you even tho they’re homeless and ain’t got shit to offer (emotionally or otherwise) and play retarted games like let other girls flirt with them in front of you or get all suspect when they use your computer at YOUR house by minimizing browser windows when you walk by or other dodgy behaviour.

LADIES!!!! HEAR MY CRY! Dating the Bad Boy is soooooo passe’. Why do you want to be so text book? Why do you want to be a Typical, Stupid Girl. There’s no reward in the dating the Bad Boy. There’s no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. There’s nothing but a lot of heartache and wasted energy and effort. There’s nothing but a future full of self-loathing and self-doubt. What in God good earth would make you so fucked up in the head that you think dating a bad boy is fun and exciting? What is so got-damned fun and exciting about worrying about other girls, diseases, waiting by the phone, being used for your body, money and time? What’s so fun about not knowing where you guys stand, about being unsure, about questioning everything and not ever really knowing anything? Do I need to make a “HI, IT’S OBVIOUS I HATE MYSELF T-SHIRT” and give them out as prizes, cos I promise you that that’ll be the only thing you’ll come out of those relationships with. I take that back, you could walk out with a VD or a Baby. Good times.

Secondly, WHAT IS SO SEXY ABOUT A MAN WHO DOESN’T HAVE A JOB or LIVES ON PEOPLE’S COUCHES or AT HOME WITH MOM AND DAD or SELLS DRUGS TO GET BY or USES GIRLS TO GET BY?

From where I stand, one of two things is going on. You either think you can’t get better or you think you can fix a bad boy. What is missing in your life that you feel that this is the best you can do? What’s missing in your life that you feel you want to save a man like this from himself? I’ve got news for you, YOU WILL NEVER DO BETTER AS LONG AS YOUR WALKING AROUND HATING YOURSELF. You’ve heard the saying that men = dogs. Dogs can smell these things. Any man worth loving is not going to want to love your broken ass not matter how fine you are. And a man looking to seize an opportunity to take advantage of your broken spirits will sniff you out from a mile away and use and abuse you girl as long as you are willing to stick around and be used or until he’s tired of your broken ass. Secondly, before you go fixing bad boys FIX YOURSELF. Look in the mirror you self conscious little girl! God! Bad boys can be fixed, yes, but they fix themselves. And usually they fix themselves when the RIGHT GIRL COMES ALONG. And if you have to make an attempt to fix him, guess what? He’s Just Not That Into You.

I’m over this subject.

NEXT!